They say, “to have a friend, you have to be one.” Sound wisdom indeed, friendship can be such a devastating event in one’s life. The closer one gets, the stability decreases, the winds escalate, the dust cloud becomes darker. Those learned from exhibiting a way of life, friends watched each other grow from aquaintance to the grave, currently a rare occurrence. They were companions, which takes time, sacrifice, and time, face to face, eye to eye, toe to toe. Even as the connection continues to solidify, the heart is imperceptively corroding.
In refusing to stay “up to date,” or the failure to retain attention span, by the time the pieces become visible, the break is imminent and forever. Time expended will force acknowledgement in time, for better or worse, too light or too heavy, the heart suffers without remedy. Until death, and beyond.
The thought had occurred, that not so long ago, cloudy, cold, waist-deep in the creek, miserably, fruitlessly digging and feeling around for another dropped cell phone. Better yet, one should always be willing to help a person of limited mobility off of a tractor which is axle-deep in mud, with water higher, only the mower remained on the bank of the pond. One of those visits included the physically challenged dragging through an ant mound resulting in many bites and a bizarre, ritualistic, naked, dance back into the water. Many a tarriance produced incongruous whimsy, perhaps rationality would and should have prevented levity. Will laughing in the rain make laughing in the sun of reduced significance?
Assimilation cannot become absolute without the benefit of adventure. Entertaining the growth of affinity though shared experience one becomes appreciative of the fact that is the inequality of transference. Being educated rather than educating. Having the challenged infuse the uncontested can be surprisingly humbling. The priviledge of accompanying a friend on an eventfilled trip can be intoxicating.
Navigating an unfamiliar conveyance, connected to an overloaded trailer on an unfamiliar, interstate under construction, of course after dark and in the rain with your passenger leaned against you, asleep, under the influence of twelve plus hours of travel, good times…good times. But who suffered more, who really felt the stress, the unencumbered, or the one compelled to trust while enduring the forced drama of the journey? The assistant becomes the assisted, the helper becomes desperate for help.
Accruing intimacy with another comes with facing a threat to the relationship, a challenge met with paired intensity of spirit, teaming up, enduring a trial. Prevailing and uniting again during less turbulent times, sharing tales of the past and visions, expectations, desires for the future.